Geek Thought of the Day Archive

Geek Thought of the Day Archive

After seeing so many excellent thoughts of the day disappear into the aether, we thought that maybe it's a good idea to archive them. These all come from the Linux application fortune-mod, selected for (mostly)geek fortunes. As we enter a new fortune, we'll put the ones being replaced here as entries. These will be placed in year, month and day order as the amount of archived entries increases. We don't always follow this rule, so please bear with us…

AlReaud Thu, 09/15/2016 - 17:20

GTOTD 2018

GTOTD 2018

For 2018 we ill be continuing the BOFH (Bastard Operator From Hell) series. As with last year, we will not be finished with BOFH this year, either as there are still hundreds of entries.

To give credit to the authors of many of the Geek Thought of the Day postings, GTOTD is generated by an application called fortune-mod in a sequential process using the command fortune -m 'BOFH' | less. The fortunes come from a database of over a million entries, containing many different subjects an genres.

We hope you continue enjoy this endeavor, and please shoot us an email if there is anything you wish to see on this site…

AlReaud Sun, 01/07/2018 - 16:09

January 2018

January 2018

Sunday, 7th:
BOFH Excuse #60:
system has been recalled

Sunday, 14th:

BOFH Excuse #61:
not approved by the FCC

AlReaud Sun, 01/07/2018 - 16:22

GTOTD 2017

GTOTD 2017

After a long holiday break, we're back with the BOFH (Bastard Operator From Hell) series that we will continue throughout 2017. We may not be finished this year as there are hundreds of entries. Regardless, we hope you enjoy this endeavor, and please shoot us an email if there is anything you wish to see on this site…

AlReaud Sun, 01/15/2017 - 19:37

January 2017

January 2017

Thus we begin for 2017! cool

Sunday, 15th:
BOFH Excuse #22:
monitor resolution too high

Tuesday, 24th:
BOFH Excuse #23:
improperly oriented keyboard

AlReaud Sun, 01/15/2017 - 19:48

February 2017

February 2017

Slow updating last month, LOL! We're going to focus on it a bit more this month to prevent cobwebs from forming! wink

Thursday, 2nd:
BOFH Excuse #24:
network packets travelling uphill (use a carrier pigeon)

Obviously not keeping up! blush

Thursday, 16th:
BOFH Excuse #25:
Decreasing electron flux

Thursday, 23rd:
BOFH Excuse #26:
First Saturday after first full moon in Winter

Sunday, 26th:
BOFH Excuse #27:
radiosity depletion

AlReaud Thu, 02/02/2017 - 14:47

March 2017

March 2017

Tuesday, 7th:
BOFH Excuse #28:
CPU radiator broken

Thursday, 16th:
BOFH Excuse #29:
It works the way the Wang did, what's the problem

Sunday, 26th:
BOFH Excuse #30:
positron router malfunction

Tuesday, 28th:
BOFH Excuse #31:
cellular telephone interference

AlReaud Tue, 03/07/2017 - 21:27

April 2017

April 2017

Thursday, 6th:
BOFH Excuse #32:
techtonic stress

Saturday, 15th:
Happy Easter To All! Special thanks to all my clients for their patronage!

Thursday, 20th:
BOFH Excuse #33:
piezo-electric interference

Monday, 24th:
BOFH Excuse #34:
(l)user error

AlReaud Thu, 04/06/2017 - 16:16

May 2017

May 2017

Monday, 1st:
BOFH Excuse #35:
working as designed

Saturday, 6th:
BOFH Excuse #36:
dynamic software linking table corrupted

Sunday, 14th:
BOFH Excuse #37:
heavy gravity fluctuation, move computer to floor rapidly

Monday, 29th:
BOFH Excuse #38:
secretary plugged hairdryer into UPS

AlReaud Mon, 05/01/2017 - 16:33

June 2017

June 2017

Monday, 5th:
BOFH Excuse #39:
terrorist activities

Sunday, 11th:
BOFH Excuse #40:
not enough memory, go get system upgrade

Saturday, 17th:
BOFH Excuse #41:
interrupt configuration error

Monday, 26th:
BOFH Excuse #42:
spaghetti cable cause packet failure

AlReaud Mon, 06/05/2017 - 17:00

July 2017

July 2017

Sunday, 9th:
BOFH Excuse #43:
boss forgot system password

Saturday, 15th:
BOFH Excuse #44:
bank holiday - system operating credits not recharged

Tuesday, 25th:
BOFH Excuse #45:
virus attack, luser responsible

AlReaud Sun, 07/09/2017 - 17:36

August 2017

August 2017

Sunday, 6th:
BOFH Excuse #46:
waste water tank overflowed onto computer

Friday, 25th:
BOFH Excuse #47:
Complete Transient Lockout

AlReaud Sun, 08/06/2017 - 13:09

September 2017

September 2017

Saturday, 2nd:
BOFH Excuse #48:
bad æther in the cables

Thursday, 14th:
BOFH Excuse #49:
Bogon emissions

AlReaud Thu, 09/14/2017 - 18:50

October 2017

October 2017

Wednesday, 4th:
BOFH Excuse #50:
Change in Earth's rotational speed

Sunday, 8th:
BOFH Excuse #51:
Cosmic ray particles crashed through the hard disk platter

Thursday, 12th:
BOFH Excuse #52:
Smell from unhygienic janitorial staff wrecked the tape heads

Friday, 20th:
BOFH Excuse #53:
Little hamster in running wheel had coronary; waiting for replacement to be Fedexed from Wyoming

AlReaud Wed, 10/04/2017 - 21:31

November 2017

November 2017

Sunday, 5th:
BOFH Excuse #54:
Evil dogs hypnotized the night shift

Wednesday, 22nd:
Happy Thanksgiving!
BOFH Excuse #55:
Plumber mistook routing panel for decorative wall fixture


AlReaud Sun, 11/05/2017 - 15:01

December 2017

December 2017

Saturday, 9th:
BOFH Excuse #56:
Electricians made popcorn in the power supply

Saturday, 17th:
BOFH Excuse #57:
Groundskeepers stole the root password

Sunday, 24th:
Merry Christmas to All!
BOFH Excuse #58:
high pressure system failure

Saturday, 30th:
Happy New Year! May 2018 bring you crash & hacker free computing!
BOFH Excuse #59:
failed trials, system needs redesigned

AlReaud Sat, 12/09/2017 - 12:59

GTOTD 2016

GTOTD 2016

We're starting this back up, again (LOL) after about a year hiatus.  This is due to us having some time on our hands, this being fun, and this site being on a new hosting account and server. So enjoy and please let us know what y'all think of this endeavor…

AlReaud Thu, 09/15/2016 - 17:29

September 2016

September 2016

We've been through the first five BOFH Excuses, so we're going to continue with number 6…

Monday, 12th:
BOFH excuse #6:
global warming

Thursday, 15th:
BOFH excuse #7:
poor power conditioning

Saturday, 24th:
BOFH excuse #8:
static buildup

Wednesday, 28th:
BOFH excuse #9:
doppler effect

AlReaud Thu, 09/15/2016 - 17:35

October 2016

October 2016

Summer is over and things are getting colder. That means being less outside and more inside, which is a good thing to getting this site ported over… smiley

Monday, 3rd:
BOFH excuse #10:
hardware stress fractures

Wednesday, 5th:
BOFH excuse #11:
magnetic interference from money/credit cards

Monday, 10th:
BOFH excuse #12:
dry joints on cable plug

Thursday, 13th:
BOFH excuse #13:
we're waiting for [the phone company] to fix that line

Saturday, 29th:
BOFH excuse #14:
sounds like a Windows problem, try calling Microsoft support

AlReaud Mon, 10/03/2016 - 23:16

November 2016

November 2016

Sunday, 6th:
BOFH excuse #15:
temporary routing anomaly

Sunday, 13th:
BOFH excuse #16:
somebody was calculating pi on the server

Tuesday, 15th:
BOFH excuse #17:
fat electrons in the lines

Monday, 21st:
BOFH excuse #18:
excess surge protection

Friday, 25th:
BOFH excuse #19:
floating point processor overflow

AlReaud Sun, 11/06/2016 - 21:14

December 2016

December 2016

Thursday, 1st:
BOFH excuse #20:
divide-by-zero error

Tuesday, 6th:
BOFH excuse #21:
POSIX compliance problem

Thursday, 22nd:
Happy Cat Technologies wish everybody a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
See you next year... smiley

AlReaud Thu, 12/01/2016 - 14:04

GTOTD 2013

GTOTD 2013

Again we start another year's Geek Thought of the Day (GTOTD) archive. The archive for 2013 is separated into months of day entries (give or take a week, sometimes, LOL). The GTOTD is bought to you courtesy of fortune-mod. Hope you enjoy this funny and sometimes uncanny oracle.

We will try harder this year to keep a crisp flow of fortunes going. The fortune cookies run into the megabytes, so it's not like there is a lack.

AlReaud Tue, 01/01/2013 - 23:17

February 2013

February 2013
  • Sunday, 3rd:
    Many companies that have made themselves dependent on [the equipment of a certain major manufacturer] (and in doing so have sold their soul to the devil) will collapse under the sheer weight of the un-mastered complexity of their data processing systems.
    Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5
  • Sunday, 10th:
    Avoid the Gates of Hell.  Use Linux
    Unknown source
  • Monday, 25th:
    This universe shipped by weight, not by volume.  Some expansion of the contents may have occurred during shipment.
AlReaud Sun, 02/10/2013 - 09:08

GTOTD 2011

GTOTD 2011

This is when we first created the site in Drupal Version 6. That has been quite a few moons ago. But in December, we started archiving the Geek Thought of the Day for posterity. We've attempted to keep it more or less current, while leaving entries up long enough on the front page to let visitors enjoy the entries. Some of this may be a bit different from the original site as we've upgraded to Drupal Version 8 in the interim.

AlReaud Thu, 09/15/2016 - 17:48

December 2011

December 2011
  • Thursday, 8th:
    The universe does not have laws -- it has habits, and habits can be broken.
  • Monday, 12th:
    I would have you imagine, then, that there exists in the mind of man a block of wax...  and that we remember and know what is imprinted as long as the image lasts; but when the image is effaced, or cannot be taken, then we forget or do not know.
    Plato, Dialogs, Theateus 191
    [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when referring to image activation and termination.]
  • Wednesday, 14th:
    Spaced it out, LOL! blush
  • Saturday, 17th:
    better !pout !cry
        better watchout
        lpr why
        santa claus < north pole > town

        cat /etc/passwd > list
        ncheck list
        ncheck list
        cat list | grep naughty > nogiftlist
        cat list | grep nice > giftlist
        santa claus < north pole > town

        who | grep sleeping
        who | grep awake
        who | grep bad || good
        for (goodness sake) {
            be good
  • Tuesday, 20th:
    You, sir, are nothing but a pathetically lame salesdroid! I fart in your general direction!
    ⇒ Randseed on #Linux
  • Thursday, 22nd:
    The triumph of libertarian anarchy is nearly (in historical terms) at hand... *if* we can keep the Left from selling us into slavery and the Right from blowing us up for, say, the next twenty years.” 
    ⇒ Eric Rayman, usenet guy, about nanotechnology
  • Saturday, 24th:
    'Twas the night before crisis, and all through the house,
        Not a program was working not even a browse.
    The programmers were wrung out too mindless to care,
        Knowing chances of cutover hadn't a prayer.
    The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
        While visions of inquiries danced in their heads.
    When out in the lobby there arose such a clatter,
        I sprang from my tube to see what was the matter.
    And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
        But a Super Programmer, oblivious to fear.
    More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,
        And he whistled and shouted and called them by name;
    On Update!  On Add!  On Inquiry!  On Delete!
        On Batch Jobs!  On Closing!  On Functions Complete!
    His eyes were glazed over, his fingers were lean,
        From Weekends and nights in front of a screen.
    A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head,
        Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread...
    "Twas the Night before Crisis"
  • Sunday, 25th:
    Merry Christmas to all from Happy Cat Technologies!
  • Monday, 26th:
    Examples of the output generated when running commonly typed commands under YODIX, the new Unix-like operating system for Star Wars fans (Submitted by Dave Finton):

    # pwd
    Know you not where you are. Show you I shall.

    # uptime
    When 900 years you be, look this good you will not.

    # cd /win95
    Once you start down the Dark Path, forever will it dominate your destiny!

    # winnuke
    That, my friend, will lead you to the dark side. Help you I will not.

    # rm -rf /
    Idiot you are. Yeeesss.

    # shutdown -h now
    Luke... there is... another... Sky... walker...

  • Friday, 30th:
    We the Users, in order to form a more perfect system, establish priorities, ensure connective tranquility, provide for common repairs, promote preventive maintenance, and secure the blessings of liberty for ourselves and our processes, do ordain and establish this Software of The Unixed States of America.

AlReaud Mon, 12/12/2011 - 08:22